Do You Love It?

I grew up in a family of seven children, so being frugal and thrifty was always a part of life. Whenever my mom helped us go through clothing while getting ready for buying school clothes, she was always encouraging us to get rid of anything we didn't love. We each had very small wardrobes overall, a few pairs of pants, a handful of shirts, and a couple of dresses or skirts. "You only wear what you love anyway." she would tell us. Since the oldest four of us were all girls, in high school we were able to wear each others' clothes a bit, and expanded our wardrobes a little that way, though we often had different styles, and one sister is notably taller than the rest of us, so she couldn't share as easily.

My family 11 years ago, when I was in high school.
The two sisters standing in the back had borrowed their dresses
from the older two in front (I'm the one sitting on the left).

But overall, my mom was right, at least for me. I frequently found myself reaching for the same 3-4 shirts, and always searching for the same 1-2 pair of pants... frustrated when all my favorites were dirty and I had to wear something else. I still notice this in my closet now. I hang all my pants on the left of the closet, and all my shirts on the right. When I hang up my clean laundry, I always put the clean things in the middle, right between the pants & shirts. When I pick out clothes to wear, I try to start at the outsides of the closet. That would mean starting with the things that haven't been worn in a while. Yet frequently, I end up grabbing items from the middle of the closet, or frustrated that my favorite shirt hasn't made it back through the wash yet (and it's only been 3 days).

I just finished hanging up the adult darks, so this is literally my entire wardrobe... maternity and otherwise. The only things not pictured here are my pajamas, underclothes, the outfit I was wearing while taking the picture, and the shirt I had worn the day before when the laundry was being washed (I was wearing the same pants as the day before).

Unclutter
The lesson I learned from this is that we shouldn't clutter up our closets or our lives with things we don't love. As I was writing the blog post about my sister, J, I asked her a few questions about her home now. Here's an excerpt from her response:

You know I don't sew or craft at all, so I don't keep any of that in my house. I also don't keep very much in storage - mostly holiday decor, and even that wouldn't be there if I didn't love decorating.

I've stopped keeping things in my to do pile that need to be "altered" or fixed. If I can't fix it within a few minutes with the resources I have now, it's gone. Projects I've held onto for years I have just thrown out because I've realized it will cost me more stress than the completed project will bring me happiness.

While J doesn't sew, I do. I have discovered that I love quilting. I have been trying to find more time to spend on quilting. But, I don't like sewing clothing. I can, and as I mentioned in a previous post, I once sewed our entire stash of cloth diapers, but I don't enjoy it. So, I can get rid of apparel-type fabric that would not be good for quilting, and I try to only keep fabric & supplies for projects I'm in the middle of. (hmmm... I think I need to go through some boxes and purge again...)

The pile of fabric for the quilts I'm working on for my boys.

Too Many Loves
We should only surround ourselves with things we LOVE. Often this is difficult because there are lots of things that sound good, or that we believe we love. Much like my children claim that every toy or stuffed animal is their "favorite." When we have so many "loves," each one is diminished in value.

It can be difficult to identify the things and hobbies we truly love. Here are some ideas to help discover those loves.
 - Make a list of things you want to do
 - Walk around your home and write a list of projects you want to do as you see the materials you have collected for those projects.
 - As your list grows, ask yourself if you will truly enjoy the process of doing these things.
 - Ask if the finished project will enrich your life. Will you be glad you did it? Will you be glad to have it?
 - How long will these projects take. Remember, it is impossible to find the time for all of them, and you will most likely find new project ideas in the future (thank you Pinterest). Choose your absolute favorites, then let the rest go.

When we were house-hunting a couple years ago, we walked through dozens of homes. Several homes were appealing, and there were some aspects of each home that we loved, and some features that we didn't love. Obviously, in the end, we could only choose ONE house. Our real-estate agent gave us a great piece of advice: find two favorites. Every time you enter a home, as you look around, ask yourself if it is better than either of your previous two favorites. If it is better than one of them... it becomes a part of the favorites, and one of the previous homes gets kicked off the list. If it is not better than either of them, forget about it. Eventually, you'll end up with two homes to choose between, instead of 20 or more.

Our house - image courtesy of Google StreetView

This can be a difficult process, as everything seems to have its pros and cons. But, with practice, we can learn to step back from the emotions enough to make an objective decision between hobbies, projects, & STUFF, and determine our actual favorites, and our true loves.

True Cost
Remember yesterday's post on true cost? Everything we choose to do or have costs us in some way... time, space, money, or all of the above. When we are simplifying and trying to reduce our stress, we should only be keeping around the activities and "stuff" that we absolutely LOVE. We can find more happiness and joy spending time and energy on things we LOVE when we are not mentally cluttered by things we enjoy less, or don't like at all.

The Moral of the Story
-Keep what you LOVE
-Pass on what you don't love, or what does not fill you with joy.